NTKMart: the revolution will be commodified

NTKmart PayPal "Shopping Cart":
Clear form | Shirt sizes | Win free stuff

NB: Live in the UK? Please click here to pay by "normal" credit or debit card.
This is the special PayPal (or NOCHEX) page for people with PayPal accounts, or who want to ship outside the UK, or both (and defaults to the "Rest of the world" shipping option, so watch out for that).
See below for more PayPal info.

First, select your Shipping Option: First Class in the UK:	(£2 per item)
Airmail to the rest of the world:	(£3 per item)
See the end of this page for international availability and our tips on using NOCHEX/ PayPal.
Would you like irregular email updates about our products?	(tick if you do)
Now choose the products you want from the fine selection below (NB: max 3 items per order)

16K T-shirt: Front print: The complete lyrics to MJ Hibbett's retro-rocking classic Hey Hey, 16K ("What does that get you today?/ You need more than that for a letter/ Old skool Ram Paks are much better" etc) reproduced - by permission - in white, with a greyed out ZX81 advert just visible in the background ("16K-BYTE RAM pack for massive add-on memory"). Plus a little "Artists Against Success" logo and link to MJHibbett.com at the bottom, also in grey. No back print, white and grey ink on black shirt, potentially available as a Mantis Women's Skinny Tee M/L (to fit bust 36-38"), coded "F" below. For each shirt sold: Ł2.00* goes to the magnificent MJ Hibbett, obviously.*
16K T-shirt, colour Black, size XXL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
16K T-shirt, colour Black, size XL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
16K T-shirt, colour Black, size M, price: £10	(0 in stock)
16K T-shirt, colour Black, size F, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Enter how many you want in the box, then either carry on shopping or

404 Not Found T-shirt: (click thumbnail for bigger picture) Front print: "404" in big white numbers with "/shirt/tie: not found" written underneath. No back print, white and grey on black shirt (the numbers and the text have a slight grey shadow behind them which you can't see in this picture but which makes them stand out better), occasionally available in "Tan" light brown and "Cedar" desaturated red - click thumbnail for full illustration - though currently only in XL. For each shirt sold: Ł2.00* goes to designer Camilo Mesias.*
404 Not Found T-shirt, colour Black, size XXL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
404 Not Found T-shirt, colour Black, size XL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
404 Not Found T-shirt, colour Tan, size XL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
404 Not Found T-shirt, colour Black, size M, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Enter how many you want in the box, then either carry on shopping or

Adminspotting T-shirt: (click thumbnail for bigger picture) The classic Adminspotting design (caution: some strong language) on the FRONT ONLY of these new shirts (we still have a few back print shirts left - mail enquiries@ntkmart.com for details). White and orange on Black shirt (slightly more expensive than usual because it's a complicated multi-colour print). For each item sold: Ł2.00* is donated to a charity chosen by designer Jonathan H N Chin; Ł2.00 goes to Gary Barnes, author of the original Usenet post.*
Adminspotting T-shirt, colour Black, size XXL, price: £12	(0 in stock)
Adminspotting T-shirt, colour Black, size XL, price: £12	(0 in stock)
Adminspotting T-shirt, colour Black, size M, price: £12	(0 in stock)
Adminspotting T-shirt, colour Black, size S, price: £12	(0 in stock)
Enter how many you want in the box, then either carry on shopping or

Elite T-shirt: (click thumbnail for bigger picture) Front print: A Cobra Mk III swoops majestically into view, as an unsuspecting Orbital Transporter falls victim to your front mining laser, jettisoning fragments in the shape of the letters 'N', 'T' and 'K'. Plus "WWW.NTK.NET: IN-JOKES FOR OUTCASTS" at the bottom, in BBC Micro-writing. No back print, white on BBC Micro monitor dark "Forest" green shirt (shown here). For each shirt sold: Ł2.00 is donated by designer "Violence Through Kittens" to the PC-recycling Redundant Technology Initiative. Graphics from "Elite" used with kind permission of David Braben and Ian Bell.
Elite T-shirt, colour Forest, size XXL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Elite T-shirt, colour Forest, size XL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Elite T-shirt, colour Forest, size M, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Elite T-shirt, colour Black, size F, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Enter how many you want in the box, then either carry on shopping or

Japanese T-shirt: (click thumbnail for bigger picture) Front print: A gently mockery of people who wear shirts with Japanese writing on them without knowing what it means - though we are (semi-reliably) informed that the big text means "There exists a requirement for information" (the closest translation we could get for "Need to Know"). All the other "Japanese" bits are actually made-up English words in a Katakana font, interspersed with ordinary English writing like "random japanese text" and "computer hobby tap-tap machine". Plus one of those sodding Internet Explorer alert boxes on top of the whole thing, advising "To display this shirt correctly you need to download... Japanese Text Display Support" etc etc. White ink on Charcoal (dark grey) or Steel (turquoise blue) shirt, where available - see thumbnail for colours. For each shirt sold: £0.50* goes to David Gentle for the phrases "tap-tap machine" and "www.ntk.net: Is 'grooved'? Yes grooved!".*
Japanese T-shirt, colour Charcoal, size XXL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Japanese T-shirt, colour Charcoal, size XL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Japanese T-shirt, colour Steel, size L, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Japanese T-shirt, colour Charcoal, size M, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Japanese T-shirt, colour Black, size F, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Enter how many you want in the box, then either carry on shopping or

Jumper Setting T-shirt: (click thumbnail for bigger picture) Pay attention, Bond - this one's basically a play on the word "jumper", so it's got three sets of pins (marked "Vest", "T-shirt", and "Cardi"), with the shunt (marked "NTK") in the T-shirt position. But you'd already worked that out anyway... There are some PCB tracks underneath the pins and "NoneMoreNegative & WWW.NTK.NET - In-Jokes For Outcasts" written round the edge, in isometric-style ZX Spectrum writing. White ink on black shirt (or a limited edition of "Tan" light brown ones - same colour as those "404s"), no back print, potentially also available as a Mantis Women's Skinny Tee M/L (to fit bust 36-38"), coded "F" below. For each shirt sold: £2.00* goes to designer NoneMoreNegative; £0.50 goes to Jon Peterson for "In-jokes for outcasts".*
Jumper Setting T-shirt, colour Black, size XXL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Jumper Setting T-shirt, colour Black, size XL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Jumper Setting T-shirt, colour Tan, size L, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Jumper Setting T-shirt, colour Black, size M, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Jumper Setting T-shirt, colour Black, size F, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Enter how many you want in the box, then either carry on shopping or

No2ID T-shirt: (click thumbnail for bigger picture) A white and red road-style sign with a symbolic ID card in the middle (with a red line through it), and the URL www.No2ID.net underneath, also in white and red. No back print, white and red ink on black shirt, also available in "Mantis" M/L skinny/women's size (coded "F" below). For each shirt sold, all the money goes to No2ID: "Stopping compulsory ID cards and the National Identity Register".
No2ID T-shirt, colour Black, size XXL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
No2ID T-shirt, colour Black, size XL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
No2ID T-shirt, colour Black, size L, price: £10	(0 in stock)
No2ID T-shirt, colour Black, size M, price: £10	(0 in stock)
No2ID T-shirt, colour Black, size F, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Enter how many you want in the box, then either carry on shopping or

Police Aware T-shirt: (click thumbnail for bigger picture) Front print: Announce that the authorities do not in fact need to be informed with this handy Police Aware logo, in a sort of distressed stencil-style font, in bright yellow. No back print, yellow ink on black shirt, potentially available as a Mantis Women's Skinny Tee M/L (to fit bust 36-38"), coded "F" below. For each shirt sold £2.00* goes to designer Alex Teugels.*
Police Aware T-shirt, colour Black, size XXL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Police Aware T-shirt, colour Black, size XL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Police Aware T-shirt, colour Black, size M, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Police Aware T-shirt, colour Black, size F, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Enter how many you want in the box, then either carry on shopping or

Network Security T-shirt: (click thumbnail for bigger picture) Open doors (and end conversations?) with this hallmark of pseudo-officialdom, featuring the word SECURITY in big chunky capitals, complete with the word NETWORK just above it (and to the left), in a way that unaccountably reminds us of Gerry Anderson TV shows. White on black shirt, no back print, and (potentially) available as a Mantis Women's Skinny Tee M/L (to fit bust 36-38"), coded "F" below. For each shirt sold: £3.00* goes to designers the PC Extreme team.*
Network Security T-shirt, colour Black, size XXL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Network Security T-shirt, colour Black, size XL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Network Security T-shirt, colour Black, size M, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Network Security T-shirt, colour Black, size F, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Enter how many you want in the box, then either carry on shopping or

Ungood T-shirt: (click thumbnail for bigger picture) The variable identifier "ungood" in a distressed typewriter font, prefixed with the traditional increment operator "++", and postfixed with a semi-colon. Perhaps it signifies the world's gradual slide towards an Orwellian total-surveillance nightmare, or maybe just that you're a coder with an attitude (like there's any other kind!). No back print, white ink on black shirt - or "++good;" in black ink on white, on Mantis Women's Skinny Tee M/L (to fit bust 36-38"), coded "F" below (click thumbnail for illustration). For each shirt sold: Ł2.00* goes to designer Lloyd Wood, to spend on further J Peterman-style flights of fancy.*
Ungood T-shirt, colour Black, size XXL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Ungood T-shirt, colour Black, size XL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Ungood T-shirt, colour Olive, size L, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Ungood T-shirt, colour Black, size M, price: £10	(0 in stock)
++Good; T-shirt, colour White, size F, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Enter how many you want in the box, then either carry on shopping or

Viral Marketing T-shirt: (click thumbnail for bigger picture) Front print: "Viral marketing doesn't work - tell everyone you know", against background graphic of biohazard logo made out of the words "CAUTION: CONTAGIOUS MEMES". And "WWW.NTK.NET: IN-JOKES FOR OUTCASTS" at the bottom, in ZX Spectrum-writing. No back print, yellow on black shirt. For each shirt sold: Ł1.50* goes to Strange Company for the original gag; 50p goes to Jon Peterson for "In-jokes for outcasts".*
Viral Marketing T-shirt, colour Black, size XXL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Viral Marketing T-shirt, colour Black, size XL, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Viral Marketing T-shirt, colour Black, size M, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Viral Marketing T-shirt, colour Black, size S, price: £10	(0 in stock)
Enter how many you want in the box, then either carry on shopping or

Non-UK users - Using PayPal:
1. If you have a UK-issued Mastercard, Visa, Switch, Solo, Visa Debit, Electron or Maestro card, you are politely recommended to use the special NOCHEX page (unless you've already got a PayPal account, of course). You'll be glad you did: NOCHEX does not have anything like the complicated sign-up procedure that PayPal has.

2. PayPal is an internationally recognised system which processes credit (or debit) card payments between small companies and individuals. They're a US company, although NTKmart is based in the UK (which is why the designer royalties are shown in pounds). Please make sure you select the correct shipping option - "UK" or "Rest of the world" - when placing your order.

3. If you don't live in the US, the international PayPal signup procedure has changed again - just choose where you live on the "Select your country" pull-down menu and the "Card Type" menu will then display the payment options - including Switch and Solo - that are available. And, in most cases, you can spend up to $100 (around £60) straight away using a valid card. PayPal charges non-US users an extra $1.95 on their first transaction as part of their card verification process, though this then goes into your account if you ever want to spend (or receive) money using PayPal again.

4. According to PayPal, non-UK countries that we can ship to are: USA, Argentina, Australia, Anguilla, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, China, Costa Rica, Denmark, Dominican Republic, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hong Kong, Iceland, India, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Luxembourg, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Singapore, South Africa, South Korea, Spain, Sweden, and Switzerland.

5. Live somewhere else? Need to buy more than the permitted number of items? Want to have your order sent to a different address to that of the card-holder? Got another question that isn't answered here? Then contact us at enquiries@ntkmart.com. Cheers.

Other designs (and payment options) are available over at The Register.

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